Twilight Phenomenon

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've no doubt heard about Twilight. With four bestselling books about the saga and a box-office-hit movie, how can you ignore the fame?

Being a lover of books and all things strange, I decided to "watch the stupid teeny bopper movie" and see what all the fuss is about. Robert Pattinson isn't even that hot!

Well, I watched the movie and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean, it was a little silly and mediocre at best, but alas I did enjoy it. However, you're a great filmmaker if you can leave the audience wanting more; and want more I did! I can wait until the next movie though..

I received the second book, New Moon, as a birthday gift several months prior to watching the movie. I stuffed it in my overflowing bookcase to collect dust for a rainy day.

I couldn't get Twilight out of my head though! It was like a virus eating away at me! I was at work, fulfilling some mundane task. Will Bella be turned into a vampire? I was in class taking an exam. Will Victoria kill Bella? How did the Cullens become vampires? Who? What? Where? I was a googling monster!

Somehow I ended up sick with a real, non-twilight, virus and after 2 days of dying, I wandered into my library with the intent of finding something to read. Maybe this will trick my m

ind into not barfing! And there it was. Poking out amongst Harry Potter and Confessions of a Shopaholic.. New Moon. Bingo. For drama's sake, let me add that a light suddenly shot through my roof, casting rays upon it's sleek black paperback cover. I even heard Edward whispering, "Read me, Ashley. I love YOU! not Bella! Read me!" Just kidding, but it was something like that.

Fast forward one lifeless week and I had devoured the entire Twilight series. (Thank you Walmart for being open 24hours. Without you, who knows what I would have done at 1am when I finished Eclipse!) To write that I enjoyed it, would be an understatement. I unexpectedly completely fell head-over-heels in love with this series, the characters, and the story. Twilight is the most fascinating love story I've ever read.

So readers, what are your thoughts on Twilight? Have you read the books? Seen the movie? How does Stephanie Myer compare to the great Anne Rice? Yes, I went there.

Just think.. my journey into the Twilight phenomenon began as one cynical night of boredom. You get the last laugh this time, teeny-boppers!

The whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing

So, there I was on a typical Monday evening; tired, bored, flipping through channels. The Teen Choice Awards were on. Piqued by curiosity and the awareness that Summer Monday programming apparently sucks, I continue to watch. "Oh hey! I remember this! Who are they gonna slime?!" Nope. No slime. Instead Kat Von D appears on stage wearing minimal clothing and proceeds to tattoo a Jonas Brother.. Ok. So Teens gets tattoos now? Cool. A bunch of celebrities I don't know are winning awards, kids are screaming, the Jonas Brothers play song #374636 of the night; it all seems so innocent again. Then it hits me. There are at least 3 celebrities in that audience right now that are involved in porn scandals. Ok. So Teens are being entertained by amateur porn stars? NOT cool!

1. Leighton Meester- Gossip Girl

Her night-vision (circa 2003 Paris Hilton) foot-fetish video leaked on the internet earlier this year.

2. Vanessa Hudgens- High School Musical

She's had many nude photographs leaked this year; all taken with her cell phone. Amazing what technology can do, huh kids?!

3. Ashley Greene- Twilight

As recent as this week, Ashley had some nudies leak. She has NO shame, let me tell you!

Oh, and who can forget Disney's latest cash cow, Miley Cyrus, and all of her risque pics? Teens can probably wallpaper their room with them! Right on cue.. "And now Miley Cyrus; presenting your Ultimate Choice Award to Britney Spears!" *Insert teeny boppers screaming here*

Oh Britney.. I actually like her! I was rooting for her to make a comeback along with the rest of children of the 1990's. Do I think she's a good role model for teens? Absolutely not. Do I think she's a better role model than Miley Cyrus? Absolutely! The difference between Britney and Miley is well.. Britney lied! She pretended to be wholesome and had the whole virgin school girl act down. Get with the program, Miley! Disney needs you to pay for Brit Brit's new weave!

After the commercial break, I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but this terrible screeching sound started coming from my surround sound! I thought it was really strange that it vaguely sounded like someone saying "the climb" until I realized it was Miley Cyrus "singing." Kids listen to terrible music. Ok, fine. Oh how cute a lemonade stand! Slime? Wait, that's a pole ON the lemonade stand. Miley, are you seriously grinding on a stripper pole?!

Yes. A 17-year-old. Grinding. With teeny tiny shorts on. On a pole. In front of an audience of children.

I'm in my twenties, grew up in the 1990's, Liberal Democrat, all for peace and love and the legalization of marijuana.. so this whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing shouldn't be as shocking to me, right? I mean, I don't even have kids! Well, ladies and gentleman of the new millennium, I was shocked.

Let's do a quick recap. After watching the Teen Choice Awards, swooning over Robert Pattinson, (I was too. I mean, he glitters!) this generation's youth will:

-Want to get a tattoo and/or actually get a tattoo

-Watch Kat Von D's foul-mouthed TV show or pick up her Playboy issue

-Google their favorite celebrities only to find boobies and.. "Mom, what is THAT?!"

-Possibly decide to become a stripper "like Hannah Montana omgz!"

-Wank off in their freshly laundered sock after staring at Megan Fox's cleavage

So, people of the interwebz, what is your opinion of the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? What do you think of how the media affects today's youth? Are you a child of the 90's too? (Sweet!) If you're a parent, are you practicing selective exposure to media with your kids?