Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Sorry, please play again.

As a kid, I was a sodaholic. What child isn't? Every time I went somewhere with mom, I always always always had to get a soda. I "needed" that carbonated sugary liquid crack! More importantly, I needed to win.

Once upon a time the soft drink makers used to actually give away things that you actually wanted (like money and free drinks). All you had to do was purchase a 12oz Pepsi or Coca-Cola and twist off the cap to reveal your fate.

I loved the excitement of choosing the "winning" bottle. Wayyyy in the back; that one looks like a winner! I hated reading, "Sorry, please play again." I would then proceed to beg my mom for another soda.

Now, on the rare occasion I indulge in a soda, all I get is a disappointing plethora of letters and numbers. A stupid CODE to log on to a website, enter it, and earn POINTS to buy something I don't even want. 25 points gets you a brand new T-shirt!... Or better yet, a free song download at some unknown itunes-ripoff site.

Sorry soda companies, please play again.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Where Women Fit Into Mens Wallets

What does the average bachelor spend his money on? The answer is simple: Women! No complaints here, I assure you. In all seriousness though, after viewing this, I found myself asking that question. After teaming up with my buddy, Google, and doing some heavy-duty research, I couldn't find anything really factual. I decided to analyze how the men in my personal life (and the one's who are no longer a part of my life) spend their money and come to my own conclusions. Because that's what women are best at right? I purposely did not consider living expenses.

Women, how do the men in your life compare? Men, do you agree with me? Yes, I know porn is free on the internet, but I know you men can't resist those sexy Playboy's and I've seen the cable bill..

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Myspace, Facebook, Youtube, Oh my!

Holy myspacetwitterfacebook batman!@^&#%

I have so many websites to update everyday, I'm actually starting to forget! omgz

I hate to say it but I actually kinda miss the days of AOL 3.0. Those soothing sounds of shhhhhh rrrrrr re ra reee shhhhhhhhhhhh. Internet life was so much simpler then. You had one e-mail address; You've got mail!, a limited amount of websites (that you knew of) to browse, and an endless amount of AOL chatrooms to scroll through. a/s/l/p

These days the internet is flooded with an ever-growing market
of social networking websites, those annoying blogs; especially "through the grapevine," ugh, and a website dedicated to every single word in the dictionary. Now, I'm not saying I'm not a fan of these outlets; Actually, I'm a little bit obsessed, but I've learned that it is truly a learned art to keep track of it all. I think I've finally figured it out! Until something starts acting funky..

On my Blackberry, I now have the following useful applications:
  • Facebook: I can update my status, view my friends activities, and even upload pictures directly from my phone to FB.
  • Myspace: Actually, I never use this one..
  • Twitterberry: Anything that twitter.com can do, Tberry can do too.
  • Google: Now this is cool! It magically knows my location and filters searches accordingly. Also, I can google by voice command! Just hold down the talk button, speak, and bam!
  • G-mail: This is also linked to my mac mail at home as well as my work e-mail. I can even view attachments and open .pdf's e-mailed to me. Really comes in handy for a forgetful college student..
These applications are such a life saver for someone who's web-obsessed and on-the-go! I've mastered the "knee-steering with blackberry in one hand and Starbucks in the other" technique. Don't try this at home kids!

While some people argue that with the growing popularity of the internet and social networking sites we're losing touch with reality, I agree to disagree. The internet provides people a quicker, easier, and more reliable source for information. If anything, we're more in touch with reality. As for social lives, mine is exactly how I want it: on my terms. With the advancements in technology (ie blackberry applications), managing our internet lives is only going to become simpler over time.

What do you think of the internet revolution? What great applications have you stumbled upon? How has the internet improved your life? What's your mother's maiden name? Kidding guys, kidding!

**Update** Check out this cool related article about the future of technology and mobile phone uses!

Twilight Phenomenon

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've no doubt heard about Twilight. With four bestselling books about the saga and a box-office-hit movie, how can you ignore the fame?

Being a lover of books and all things strange, I decided to "watch the stupid teeny bopper movie" and see what all the fuss is about. Robert Pattinson isn't even that hot!

Well, I watched the movie and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean, it was a little silly and mediocre at best, but alas I did enjoy it. However, you're a great filmmaker if you can leave the audience wanting more; and want more I did! I can wait until the next movie though..

I received the second book, New Moon, as a birthday gift several months prior to watching the movie. I stuffed it in my overflowing bookcase to collect dust for a rainy day.

I couldn't get Twilight out of my head though! It was like a virus eating away at me! I was at work, fulfilling some mundane task. Will Bella be turned into a vampire? I was in class taking an exam. Will Victoria kill Bella? How did the Cullens become vampires? Who? What? Where? I was a googling monster!

Somehow I ended up sick with a real, non-twilight, virus and after 2 days of dying, I wandered into my library with the intent of finding something to read. Maybe this will trick my m
ind into not barfing! And there it was. Poking out amongst Harry Potter and Confessions of a Shopaholic.. New Moon. Bingo. For drama's sake, let me add that a light suddenly shot through my roof, casting rays upon it's sleek black paperback cover. I even heard Edward whispering, "Read me, Ashley. I love YOU! not Bella! Read me!" Just kidding, but it was something like that.

Fast forward one lifeless week and I had devoured the entire Twilight series. (Thank you Walmart for being open 24hours. Without you, who knows what I would have done at 1am when I finished Eclipse!) To write that I enjoyed it, would be an understatement. I unexpectedly completely fell head-over-heels in love with this series, the characters, and the story. Twilight is the most fascinating love story I've ever read.

So readers, what are your thoughts on Twilight? Have you read the books? Seen the movie? How does Stephanie Myer compare to the great Anne Rice? Yes, I went there.

Just think.. my journey into the Twilight phenomenon began as one cynical night of boredom. You get the last laugh this time, teeny-boppers!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing

So, there I was on a typical Monday evening; tired, bored, flipping through channels. The Teen Choice Awards were on. Piqued by curiosity and the awareness that Summer Monday programming apparently sucks, I continue to watch. "Oh hey! I remember this! Who are they gonna slime?!" Nope. No slime. Instead Kat Von D appears on stage wearing minimal clothing and proceeds to tattoo a Jonas Brother.. Ok. So Teens gets tattoos now? Cool. A bunch of celebrities I don't know are winning awards, kids are screaming, the Jonas Brothers play song #374636 of the night; it all seems so innocent again. Then it hits me. There are at least 3 celebrities in that audience right now that are involved in porn scandals. Ok. So Teens are being entertained by amateur porn stars? NOT cool!

1. Leighton Meester- Gossip Girl
Her night-vision (circa 2003 Paris Hilton) foot-fetish video leaked on the internet earlier this year.
2. Vanessa Hudgens- High School Musical
She's had many nude photographs leaked this year; all taken with her cell phone. Amazing what technology can do, huh kids?!
3. Ashley Greene- Twilight
As recent as this week, Ashley had some nudies leak. She has NO shame, let me tell you!

Oh, and who can forget Disney's latest cash cow, Miley Cyrus, and all of her risque pics? Teens can probably wallpaper their room with them! Right on cue.. "And now Miley Cyrus; presenting your Ultimate Choice Award to Britney Spears!" *Insert teeny boppers screaming here*

Oh Britney.. I actually like her! I was rooting for her to make a comeback along with the rest of children of the 1990's. Do I think she's a good role model for teens? Absolutely not. Do I think she's a better role model than Miley Cyrus? Absolutely! The difference between Britney and Miley is well.. Britney lied! She pretended to be wholesome and had the whole virgin school girl act down. Get with the program, Miley! Disney needs you to pay for Brit Brit's new weave!

After the commercial break, I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but this terrible screeching sound started coming from my surround sound! I thought it was really strange that it vaguely sounded like someone saying "the climb" until I realized it was Miley Cyrus "singing." Kids listen to terrible music. Ok, fine. Oh how cute a lemonade stand! Slime? Wait, that's a pole ON the lemonade stand. Miley, are you seriously grinding on a stripper pole?!

Yes. A 17-year-old. Grinding. With teeny tiny shorts on. On a pole. In front of an audience of children.

I'm in my twenties, grew up in the 1990's, Liberal Democrat, all for peace and love and the legalization of marijuana.. so this whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing shouldn't be as shocking to me, right? I mean, I don't even have kids! Well, ladies and gentleman of the new millennium, I was shocked.

Let's do a quick recap. After watching the Teen Choice Awards, swooning over Robert Pattinson, (I was too. I mean, he glitters!) this generation's youth will:
-Want to get a tattoo and/or actually get a tattoo
-Watch Kat Von D's foul-mouthed TV show or pick up her Playboy issue
-Google their favorite celebrities only to find boobies and.. "Mom, what is THAT?!"
-Possibly decide to become a stripper "like Hannah Montana omgz!"
-Wank off in their freshly laundered sock after staring at Megan Fox's cleavage

So, people of the interwebz, what is your opinion of the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? What do you think of how the media affects today's youth? Are you a child of the 90's too? (Sweet!) If you're a parent, are you practicing selective exposure to media with your kids?