Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing

So, there I was on a typical Monday evening; tired, bored, flipping through channels. The Teen Choice Awards were on. Piqued by curiosity and the awareness that Summer Monday programming apparently sucks, I continue to watch. "Oh hey! I remember this! Who are they gonna slime?!" Nope. No slime. Instead Kat Von D appears on stage wearing minimal clothing and proceeds to tattoo a Jonas Brother.. Ok. So Teens gets tattoos now? Cool. A bunch of celebrities I don't know are winning awards, kids are screaming, the Jonas Brothers play song #374636 of the night; it all seems so innocent again. Then it hits me. There are at least 3 celebrities in that audience right now that are involved in porn scandals. Ok. So Teens are being entertained by amateur porn stars? NOT cool!

1. Leighton Meester- Gossip Girl
Her night-vision (circa 2003 Paris Hilton) foot-fetish video leaked on the internet earlier this year.
2. Vanessa Hudgens- High School Musical
She's had many nude photographs leaked this year; all taken with her cell phone. Amazing what technology can do, huh kids?!
3. Ashley Greene- Twilight
As recent as this week, Ashley had some nudies leak. She has NO shame, let me tell you!

Oh, and who can forget Disney's latest cash cow, Miley Cyrus, and all of her risque pics? Teens can probably wallpaper their room with them! Right on cue.. "And now Miley Cyrus; presenting your Ultimate Choice Award to Britney Spears!" *Insert teeny boppers screaming here*

Oh Britney.. I actually like her! I was rooting for her to make a comeback along with the rest of children of the 1990's. Do I think she's a good role model for teens? Absolutely not. Do I think she's a better role model than Miley Cyrus? Absolutely! The difference between Britney and Miley is well.. Britney lied! She pretended to be wholesome and had the whole virgin school girl act down. Get with the program, Miley! Disney needs you to pay for Brit Brit's new weave!

After the commercial break, I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but this terrible screeching sound started coming from my surround sound! I thought it was really strange that it vaguely sounded like someone saying "the climb" until I realized it was Miley Cyrus "singing." Kids listen to terrible music. Ok, fine. Oh how cute a lemonade stand! Slime? Wait, that's a pole ON the lemonade stand. Miley, are you seriously grinding on a stripper pole?!

Yes. A 17-year-old. Grinding. With teeny tiny shorts on. On a pole. In front of an audience of children.

I'm in my twenties, grew up in the 1990's, Liberal Democrat, all for peace and love and the legalization of marijuana.. so this whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing shouldn't be as shocking to me, right? I mean, I don't even have kids! Well, ladies and gentleman of the new millennium, I was shocked.

Let's do a quick recap. After watching the Teen Choice Awards, swooning over Robert Pattinson, (I was too. I mean, he glitters!) this generation's youth will:
-Want to get a tattoo and/or actually get a tattoo
-Watch Kat Von D's foul-mouthed TV show or pick up her Playboy issue
-Google their favorite celebrities only to find boobies and.. "Mom, what is THAT?!"
-Possibly decide to become a stripper "like Hannah Montana omgz!"
-Wank off in their freshly laundered sock after staring at Megan Fox's cleavage

So, people of the interwebz, what is your opinion of the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? What do you think of how the media affects today's youth? Are you a child of the 90's too? (Sweet!) If you're a parent, are you practicing selective exposure to media with your kids?


  1. I agree with you. The minute I saw Miley hop on a stripper pole was the minute the show started going down hill. If it was even that high up the hill from the get. As far as the quote, unquote role models, little kids are still fans of their shows. They have a Hannah Montana something for all ages. Lunch box, folder, pencil set. Now from Matel, Hanna Montana pole dancing barbie. It looked like these kids wanted to be grown up adults so bad, it was comical. Not to mention it was aired on the network that usually aires adult programming that late at night. I get it, you have to try to look hip and cool to promote yourself.......but Miley was like school in July, no class. Good first post.

  2. The entertainment industry is forcing sexual identity on kids earlier and earlier...that is a scary thought in this age of internet predators and whatnot...