Lady Gaga fucked me!

Lady Gaga, you left me speechless.. but not in a good way.

I'm sure everyone who's reading this has been wronged (like ohnoyoudidnddd gurrrl!) at some point in their lives, right? Maybe it was in high school when your bff kissed your crush behind the bleachers (bitch!), or maybe it was your ex who stole your credit card and bought hookers for everyone at 'Rachel's Cabaret'. No matter the circumstance, it's shitty and painful.

Call me over dramatic or a crazy obsessed fan, but Lady Gaga, I'm calling you out!

First, I purchased tickets for the infamous 'Fame Kills' tour with Kanye West. After Ticketmaster and 'exclusive fan club membership' fees, I ended up paying over $400.00 and overdrawing my bank account. (Thanks for the heads-up on ticket sale dates and prices btw..) CANCELED. I lost $50.00 to 'convenience' fees and $35.00 to NSF fees. No big deal, shit happens.

Then, I purchased tickets to the 'Fame Monster Ball' tour. I ended up paying less than the 'Fame Kills' tickets, but I still upgraded to VIP seats rather that General Admission so it wasn't exactly inexpensive. I've been looking forward to the Orlando show at Hard Rock for months! While I was away for the holidays, snowed-in at my New York City hotel, you apparently decided to CANCEL this show 1 week prior to the date. Are you SERIOUS?! The venue has been moved to the new UCF arena, my previous tickets will not be honored, and I had to re-purchase tickets with a special code that didn't even work. Furthermore, Ticketmaster refunded a closed bank account, without even notifying me! How long will it take for me to get my refund check? Oh, just 4-6 weeks.. Hello! We just had Christmas & Santa wasn't a cheapskate this year! Guess where I'm not going on Sunday, January 3, 2010? Instead, I'll be at home eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream and watching youtube videos.

What was the point of all this? It's not for your 'new stage' because you just announced you weren't debuting it until March. Could it be because an arena has 10x the amount of seats, therefore creating a larger profit? BINGO!

As a die-hard fan from the very beginning, I'm extremely disappointed in this decision.

{I'm pretty sure there's about 5 more signed CD's & 2 shirts lost around the house!}

{April 2009 @ House of Blues}

[October 2008 in Tampa. I paid $10 & drove 3 hrs. to see her @ a shitty bar. NO radio play @ this time!}

I never thought it was possible to be hurt by a pop star, but then again some things hurt worse coming from those we love.

Sincerely,

I like.. throwing quarters?

I have some really exciting news! Wait for it.. wait for it.. ready? GO!

Little old me has the honor of writing a guest post over at Adam's HIGHlariously entertaining blog, Throwingquarters.com! If you're not following him, do it now! (You can thank me later.)

Details soon!

In the meantime, here's my blogosphere fairy tale:

So, Adam writes this post explaining how he'll be basically sleeping in a retail cot the next 2 weeks, fending off ravenous shoppers & obviously will not have any time to entertain us with cute pictures of his kids. (boo! hiss!) In light of this situation, he decided to open up his blog to only 5 lucky, talented, amazing, beautiful (OK, maybe not the last one..) bloggers & let us write a guest post in his absence. Adam invited us readers to send him an e-mail if we were interested & well, I took a shot in the dark & did just that. It went a little something like this:

"OMGGZZZ ADAM! I LOVE THROWING QUARTERS TOO! CAN I PLZ B A GUEST BLOGGERRRR?!?!?"

Just kidding! I composed myself.

"Hey there! I've never had the honor of writing a guest post before and I'm certainly not the most popular in blogosphere, but I figured.. what the hell, I'll e-mail you anyhow!

I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog. Your posts are severely entertaining! Like, I think that my sides might ACTUALLY split entertaining! To be honest, you kind of inspired me to write my latest post about working in retail.

Anyhow, if you're interested, my blog is located at http://throughthegrapevines.blogspot.com. I would really appreciate the feedback!"

Then, I received an e-mail right in the middle of The Vampire Diaries saying.. I GOT IT! (Woo! Happy Dance! Oh shit.. vamp sex!) & the rest is still unwritten. Dun, dun dunnnnn.

Thanks Adam; for giving this little blogger a chance.

Let the writing commence!

***EDIT***

CLICK HERE TO READ MY SUPER FANTASTICALLY AWESOME POST!

CLICK HERE TO READ MY SUPER FANTASTICALLY AWESOME POST!

CLICK HERE TO READ MY SUPER FANTASTICALLY AWESOME POST!

CLICK HERE TO READ MY SUPER FANTASTICALLY AWESOME POST!

CLICK HERE TO READ MY SUPER FANTASTICALLY AWESOME POST!

Happy Holidays, Retailers!

Wine and cry all you want- the holidays are approaching are here. I hope you've all been practicing your favorite bumper cart move for the Walmart shuffle!

OK, so maybe I'm bitter not in the Christmas spirit yet, but I'm desperately trying! I just can't help but recall the years of pure hell I worked in retail. Yes, I was once the disgruntled sleepy employee providing crowd control at five am so you could purchase your three-hundred-dollar big screen. I was also that employee who scanned your last minute Star Wars Lego set on Christmas Eve and had to stay late to 'fix' the WHOLE FREAKING DISPLAY YOUR BRATTY KID KNOCKED OVER!!!

Needless to say, I am thrilled that I don't work retail anymore. However, my boyfriend does. (boo! hiss!) A permanent scowl has been painted on his face since November 1st. He works early mornings and late evenings. He has to answer 9765745 stupid questions per day. His feet hurt and body aches. His hours get cut.. No big deal; just a typical retail-land holiday.. Wait, What?! Work harder for less pay? Can someone please explain to me how this makes sense?

This sucks for me because a) I will soon forget D exists and b) it means less money to spend, obviously. (I mean, how am I supposed to stimulate the economy, people?) But this also sucks for the consumers who have to deal with angry employees as they reluctantly spend their hard-earned dollar!

With all the "change" that has happened this year, you would think that retail companies would take a different approach; show a little compassion & appreciation for their dedicated employees. Hell no! When it comes down to brass tacks, they only care about one thing: Money. So who really wins during the holidays? The crumb-snatcher who gets a 'Tickle-Me Elmo' or the retail giants who raise their prices and decrease their employees' pay?

Since the retail moguls are too busy purchasing new BMW's and writing checks for their children's Ivy League education, I wanted to take the time to express my appreciation for all of the hard working retail employees out there this holiday season:

Dear all retail employees,

Thank you for not compromising your work ethics & for keeping a smile on your face!

Sincerely,

*If you've worked in retail, I want to hear your horror stories! Also, don't forget to pass this post on to anyone YOU know who works in the retail industry & thank them.

Halloween 2009

This Halloween was amazing! Well, besides my house getting repossessed.. (Hahaha!)

I may have had TOO much fun actually, but more on that later.. Thanks to everyone who came out Friday night! If you weren't at the Zombie Dance, you seriously missed out. Megaphone & Social Ghost rocked the house! Here's some pictures:

{Megaphone}

{Social Ghost}

On a side note, Thank you to everyone who commented, retweeted, & e-mailed my blog post! As a new blogger, I really appreciate it. For those of you who couldn't comment because blogger wasn't cooperating, I'm sorry & I did count your submissions.

I decided to be a vampire! (I know, so original right?)

Before you guys call me a sell-out, there's more to the story than "I don't know what to be, so I'll just be a friggin vampire!" I kind of have an obsession with vampires and monsters & Halloween is my ONE day to fulfill my fantasy! So there!

The winner of my Halloween giveaway is *dun dun dun*.. REKKO! (He doesn't have a blog to link YET). Yay for $10 in itunes & a signed SOCIAL GHOST CD!

I hope everyone had a fabulous Halloween!

Halloween giveaway!

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!

There's just something about Zombies & Vampires that get me excited! Call me morbid,

I don't even care! You know why? Because it's Halloween & I can do/wear/say whatever I want WITHOUT the threat of being sent to a mental institution!

Top 10 Reasons Halloween is the most badass holiday:

1. We (women) can dress as slutty as we want (Hello, cliche)

2. Scary movies

3. 'Haunted' houses

4. Hilarious costumes!

5. Fake eyelashes

6. Trick r' treaters (Aw bebe's! 2 snickers 4 u!)

7. Candy

8. Fake blood

9. Fog machines

10. ZOMBIE DANCE PARTIES!

This year, D & I are attending our very first Zombie Dance Party in support of 2 awesome local bands; Social Ghost and Megaphone Music in Orlando! If you're in the area, you MUST check it out! Havoc will be wreaked on the streets, I'm sure of it!

& what's Halloween without a good costume contest?! If you are the first to correctly guess MY halloween costume, I will mail you a signed Social Ghost CD (courtesy of my buddy, Paul) AND e-mail you a $10 itunes gift card!

*HINT: I AM NOT A ZOMBIE.

Rules:

• Contest ends November 1st.
• Sorry mom, you can't enter.
• Submit as many guesses as you want.
• Leave your e-mail in the comments!'

Good luck & Happy Halloween!

Inspiration

Oh hai blogosphere! It's been awhile. The elaborate excuse for my absence? Well, first there was the whole 'saving-puppies-from-burning-building' debacle, then there was the 'last-minute-holiday-in-Paris' adventure. It's just been wild! Ha. In my dreams!

The real reason I haven't posted is very simple and boring: lack of inspiration. There. I've said it. It's out in the Universe now.

I live a pretty mundane, albeit busy, life. It's like a workout really. Work and class & work and class & work and class.. Lather, rinse, & repeat. It's easy to get lost in the routine tasks of grocery shopping, studying, and sitting in front of a computer screen refreshing twitter every day.

Not today though, friends. Not today. Today I am inspired! & by none other than these two fabulous ladies: Little Mayra & Love Maegan. If you don't follow their blogs, you must! My head is spinning with leather-studden Louboutin and DIY fashion projects. Jay-Z's "Forever Young" & Lady Gaga's "Fashion" are my internet 'shopping' soundtracks today.

I love that fashion resuscitated my creativity today! You see, I am (what I'll coin as) a fashioneer.

fash⋅ion⋅eer  [fash-uh-neer-]

–noun

A fashionista in disguise. A person with an eye for fashion, esp. one who does not always dress fashionably. One who suffers with {illness} LLE (Laziness, Lack of creativity, and el-brokeness).

Today I am letting my fashionista shine! Today I feel bold. I feel like throwing my 6' stilettos at a dartboard and shouting "FUCKING FIERCE" in front of my boss. I feel like wearing a leather studded mini skirt. I feel like welding metal shoulder pads. Fashion, bitches!

Katy Perry said it all when she wore this shirt yesterday:

{this is the real shit. shit that makes you feel shit.}

My questions to you are:

What inspires you? How do you get out of a creative slump? Are you a fashioneer?

Memories

This weekend I had a rare opportunity to visit my grandparents. It's been awhile.. (Let's face it, we all have complicated families and mine is no exception.)

I was overwhelmed with unexpected comfort. The smell of my grandmother's garden, the sound of jet planes noisily flying above, the overabundance of lizards and squirrels scurrying about, the taste of Five-Alive orange juice, and seeing the tree I was never allowed to climb in but always did; Reminders of fond memories that were long forgotten.

I remember giggling with my cousins late into the night, swimming in the pool until my skin shriveled up, learning about love as my grandparents slow-danced to an old song, watching TV shows I shouldn't have been, playing dress-up with my grandmother's gowns, falling asleep to my grandfather snoring, listening to the rain fall on the tin-roofed porch, and so much more.

It's amazing how much happiness a simple scent or sound can induce.

What childhood memories do you cherish most?

Gun Control

Drive-by shootings, accidental misfires, curious children.. unfortunate events involving guns happen every day. But these sort of things just don't happen to you, right?

Sunday evening, a military surplus .30cal round was carelessly shot into my parent's home. The bullet landed 3ft from them in their living room. A report was filed with the local police & an investigation is being conducted. It is assumed that some idiots in a nearby orange grove decided to have target practice.

My parents live in a quiet rural area with barely any neighbors. Nothing like this has ever happened before.

I'm not exactly knowledgeable when it comes to firearms. (To be honest, I think I've only held a gun once and they really freak me out.) After a quick google search about the type of bullet found, I was shocked at what the results were: "Assault weapon", "AK-47", "Military ammo", etc. What is someone doing with this type of weapon?! It's obviously not needed to practice for hunting season. Unless they're hunting for humans or something!

There has been a lot of talk over the past few months about new "gun control" laws President Obama has proposed. I haven't followed any of the debates and I don't know the specifics. If my research is correct, these proposed laws will ban citizens from purchasing assault weapons. I didn't really have an opinion until now. I think If people wish to own of these types of weapons, they should, at the very least, be educated. There should be some type of certification requirement that includes a lesson on responsible practices. For starters, "Do not shoot an assault weapon near residences.."

Accidents happen, but they can certainly be prevented. My family was lucky, but what if yours wasn't?

What are your thoughts on gun control? Have you or someone you know experienced a similar situation?

Lady-gaga.net

Wow! Alex & Christian, who run Lady Gaga's official fan website, lady-gaga.net, just complimented me on my VMA review! I love their website and visit every day. It's such an honor for them just to take the time to read, let alone like it enough to reply to me!

Thanks again, guys!

Don't forget to check out lady-gaga.net and follow Alex & Christian on twitter for the latest Lady Gaga news.

Vincent Van Gogh Pomegranate Vodka

I hate beer and I do not do shots. I'm a fruity cocktail kinda gal 100%. This probably explains my pricey bar tabs.. Recently, I discovered the most amazing vodka ever and I wanted to share it with my readers!

Vincent Van Gogh's Pomegranate Vodka. This is 70 proof and imported from Holland. It's a little pricey (750ml for around $30) but it's so delicious that it's totally worth it!

If you drink this straight, you'll likely gag to death but if you mix it the right way.. Wow! Without further ado, here's the recipe I'm obsessed with:

3/4 Van Gogh Pomegranate Vodka

1/4 Fresh Orange Juice with pulp (Not from concentrate)

1 Splash of Grenadine

Shake well, pour, & enjoy!

If you try this at home, let me know how you liked it. What are your favorite cocktail recipes?

2009 MTV VMA's

Sunday September 13th marked the annual MTV Video Music Awards. Being an admitted music junkie, of course I tuned in! Actually, not only did I tune in, but I wore my most fashionable outfit (Which isn't saying much..), used my glittery eyeshadow, and prepared my favorite martini's in honor! Yes, all for an evening of gawking at my favorite celebrities from the comfort of my home. Ok and maybe for Robert Pattinson too... The evening was an overdose of excitement and certainly did not disappoint. Here's my two cents on the moments that stood out most to me:

The Pre-show

• Shakira and Pink wearing the same dress?! At least it was FIERCE!

• Lady Gaga arriving with special escort, Kermit; a reference to the media frenzy earlier this year when she wore this as a satirical ode to fur.
• One of my favorite Youtubers, ijustine, was the official Twitter correspondent! I'm so proud! She looked beautiful.
• Gaga's highly anticipated performance and Michael Jackson's tribute performance were the talk of the pre-show. A lot of well-deserved hype, might I add.
• There is a Michael Jackson documentary titled "This Is It" coming to a Theatre near you. I don't know if I'll go see this simply because I feel like his death is being exploited. Click here if you missed it.

Opening

• Madonna, the Queen of Pop, opened the VMA's with a truly moving speech about Michael Jackson- Respectfully, The King of Pop. Madonna's voice was shaking as she spoke and tears filled her eyes (and mine) as she remembered her friend. Her words were what the public needed to hear. They were what I needed to hear. This year's VMA's were in loving memory of Michael Jackson.

  "I never had a mother, but he never had a childhood. And when you never get to have something, you become obsessed by it... All I could think about in this moment was, “I had abandoned him.” That we had abandoned him... Yes, Michael Jackson was a human being but he was a king. Long live the king."

• The epic tribute to MJ featuring his loving sister, Janet Jackson (The one family member who actually kept her mouth shut after Michael's untimely demise *couch* JOE & JERMAINE), Thriller, Billie Jean, and Scream. This was an absolutely breathtaking performance. You could tell this was so hard for Janet but girlfriend BROUGHT it! The dancers' choreography was perfect. Loved it!

Welcome to the 2009 MTV VMA Awards!

• I thoroughly enjoyed singing along to Katy Perry and Aerosmith's lead guitarist's rendition of Queen's "We Will Rock You." It brought me back to my redneck memories of monster truck shows.. I know, Shutup.
• I loved Russel Brand's character in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", but I have no idea how we got a 2nd year of hosting the VMA's. He's semi-funny, but in the ok-thats-kinda-crude way. "Excuse me, missus, I've lost a shoe... like this one. It's like this one's fellow... it's sort of the exact opposite in fact of that - not an evil version but just, you know, a shoe like this... but for the other foot." HAHA!
• Taylor Swift wins Best Female Video! She looked so cute and excited and happy until.. that douchebag Kanye West jumped up on stage, grabber her mic, & decided to basically say she doesn't deserve the award & instead Beyonce does. Poor Taylor! She looked absolutely devastated! I was absolutely shocked. Obviously this story has gone viral on the internet, so you all know about his insincere apologies and drunken excuses. Tswizzle, you go girl!

• Best Rock Video goes to Green Day! I think it's great they're still relevant to pop culture.
• Lady Gaga's Performance was absolutely amazing. It was shocking, it was risky, it was horrifying, it was just fucking fierce! Gaga performed what Madonna spoke: FAME KILLS. I was literally in tears watching this performance. I've been a fan of Gaga for years; I fought my local radio stations to get her songs played, I bought 15 of her albums, I drove 3 hours to see her play 2 years ago for $10 at a shitty bar, & I've since met her twice. I believe in everything Gaga stands for. Her music, fashion, and ideals are a force to be reckoned with. It was so surreal for me to see her perform on such a high-scale mainstream venue. As a die-hard fan, I can't help but feel a little bit responsible for her success. Listen up America, this is art.

• Twilight Alert! They premiered the latest "New Moon" trailer! Too bad I already saw it on the internet earlier..
• I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dancing around our living room screaming "If you like it, then you betta putta ring on ittt, oh oh OHHH!!!" when Beyonce performed. That woman can DANCE and has the craziest body! Woo Beyonce!
• I just saw Cyndi Lauper! AH! <3>
• Lady Gaga wins Best New Artist! Well deserved.

  "..To god and the gays!"

• When Pink did that crazy acrobatic flipping thing, I was seriously scared for her!
• Aw, Beyonce let Twsizzle use her acceptance speech time after winning Best Video of the Year to "have her moment!" Always classy, Beyonce.
• I didn't like Jay-Z's performance. I literally wrote in my notes "horse voice", lol! However, Alice Keys has a heartbreakingly beautiful voice. She's been off the map for awhile and I almost forgot it! It was really cute to watch Beyonce dancing along to her husband's song though. I'm a little bias, but I think Gaga's performance should have closed the VMA's instead.

Final Thoughts

The 2009 MTV VMA's was definitely a memorable night for pop culture. The performances were interesting, unique, and entertaining. As expected in the pre-show, Michael Jackson's tribute and Gaga's performance did steal the show. (With the exception of Kanye's douchebaggery..) The entire evening was a deserving, tasteful tribute to the late Michael Jackson and New York City.

Rest in peace, MJ and congratulations to all of the artists who took home an award! Especially Gagaloo!

Cohabitation

D & I have been together for 3 years and living together for 2.5 of them. We are not married. We are not engaged. Just.. cohabiting together. I repeat this at least twice per week.

Why do people find this so strange? Gramps & that chick I graduated with included! The Gramps generation seems to think I'm going to burn in the fiery pits of whore hell, while my generation is all "OMGGGZZ! When are you getting marrriiiieeeeddd?!@*"

Me: Yes, Daniel & I live together.

Chickigraduatedwith: Oh! Where's your ring?!

Me: Um. No ring. Just um living together.

Chickigraduatedwith: Oh. I'm sure it will come soon, don't worry!

But the thing is, I'm happy just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Not that I wouldn't be super ecstatic if he proposed, but I don't want to get married just because we're living together. I've never been one to give in to the pressures of society; I've always kind of driven on the wrong side of the road, actually. We both know we're meant to be with each other and that's all that matters.

With the prospect of moving again drawing nearer and the "Why aren't you married?" question making more appearances, I decided to put together a list of pros & cons of cohabiting.

Cons

• There is WAY more laundry and dishes to do
• Sharing a Queen-sized bed
• The most foul smelling farts everrrrr
• Lack of privacy
• Sports games, sports news, sports trivia.. permanently on the TV
• Do you really need the volume that high?

Pros

• There is WAY more help with cleaning
• Sharing a Queen-sized bed
• Late night laughs about aforementioned foul smelling farts
• Never being alone
• Watching sports games together
• Stealing TV remotes which always end up in tickle tortures & the volume lowered

Add to my list, guys! I know there's tons more.

What do you guys think of cohabiting? Do you agree or disagree with it?

My First Album

While organizing my itunes music collection tonight, I thought about the very first album I purchased and how much it meant to me.

It was Mariah Carey's Daydream. A moment of silence, please.

I remember mom taking me to the store specifically to purchase the aforementioned CD. I felt liberated as I left the register. My very own CD! The joy of sliding that shiny new disc in my 5lb 'portable' CD player and disappearing into another world is incomparable. I listened to Mariah belt her lyrics and flipped through the cover art so often that eventually the disc skipped and the cover art fell apart. Until I discovered the Spice Girls..

Digital downloads just don't have the same effect on me.

What was your first album? Was it a CD? Cassette? Record?

Visa & the game of Life

Everyone remembers the game of "Life". You know, the one with the little peg people that you're always losing under your fingernails? Anyways, I've always loved this game. Recently, I purchased a revived version called "Life: Twists & Turns". I'll admit it right now, I am addicted! Probably because I always win.

What's cool about this new version is that it doesn't use paper money. Instead, there is an electronic tracker thingamajig and players use credit cards! This is super handy, especially when it's 2am and you've earned 5 billion dollars.

I conned my boyfriend into playing again the other night and I suddenly realized that VISA's logo appears on all of the "credit cards"! Hold on a minute. Don't kids usually play this board game? Should we really be teaching children that it's OK to use your credit card for everything? VISA is trying to brainwash the youth! What's even scarier is if you don't have the money to purchase a home or a vehicle or even gamble, you can just charge it anyhow. In the old "Life" game, if you didn't have the cash you couldn't purchase it. Hello, real world.

Credit cards are scary. Debt is scary. It's something that shouldn't be taken lightly. Our economy right now is a perfect example as why it shouldn't be. Why, VISA, must you capitalize on the little ones?

Mylivesignature.com

I wish my signature looked like this!

Sorry, please play again.

As a kid, I was a sodaholic. What child isn't? Every time I went somewhere with mom, I always always always had to get a soda. I "needed" that carbonated sugary liquid crack! More importantly, I needed to win.

Once upon a time the soft drink makers used to actually give away things that you actually wanted (like money and free drinks). All you had to do was purchase a 12oz Pepsi or Coca-Cola and twist off the cap to reveal your fate.

I loved the excitement of choosing the "winning" bottle. Wayyyy in the back; that one looks like a winner! I hated reading, "Sorry, please play again." I would then proceed to beg my mom for another soda.

Now, on the rare occasion I indulge in a soda, all I get is a disappointing plethora of letters and numbers. A stupid CODE to log on to a website, enter it, and earn POINTS to buy something I don't even want. 25 points gets you a brand new T-shirt!... Or better yet, a free song download at some unknown itunes-ripoff site.

Sorry soda companies, please play again.

Where Women Fit Into Mens Wallets

What does the average bachelor spend his money on? The answer is simple: Women! No complaints here, I assure you. In all seriousness though, after viewing this, I found myself asking that question. After teaming up with my buddy, Google, and doing some heavy-duty research, I couldn't find anything really factual. I decided to analyze how the men in my personal life (and the one's who are no longer a part of my life) spend their money and come to my own conclusions. Because that's what women are best at right? I purposely did not consider living expenses.

Women, how do the men in your life compare? Men, do you agree with me? Yes, I know porn is free on the internet, but I know you men can't resist those sexy Playboy's and I've seen the cable bill..

Myspace, Facebook, Youtube, Oh my!

Holy myspacetwitterfacebook batman!@^&#%

I have so many websites to update everyday, I'm actually starting to forget! omgz

I hate to say it but I actually kinda miss the days of AOL 3.0. Those soothing sounds of shhhhhh rrrrrr re ra reee shhhhhhhhhhhh. Internet life was so much simpler then. You had one e-mail address; You've got mail!, a limited amount of websites (that you knew of) to browse, and an endless amount of AOL chatrooms to scroll through. a/s/l/p

These days the internet is flooded with an ever-growing market

of social networking websites, those annoying blogs; especially "through the grapevine," ugh, and a website dedicated to every single word in the dictionary. Now, I'm not saying I'm not a fan of these outlets; Actually, I'm a little bit obsessed, but I've learned that it is truly a learned art to keep track of it all. I think I've finally figured it out! Until something starts acting funky..

On my Blackberry, I now have the following useful applications:

• Facebook: I can update my status, view my friends activities, and even upload pictures directly from my phone to FB.
• Myspace: Actually, I never use this one..
• Twitterberry: Anything that twitter.com can do, Tberry can do too.
• Google: Now this is cool! It magically knows my location and filters searches accordingly. Also, I can google by voice command! Just hold down the talk button, speak, and bam!
• G-mail: This is also linked to my mac mail at home as well as my work e-mail. I can even view attachments and open .pdf's e-mailed to me. Really comes in handy for a forgetful college student..

These applications are such a life saver for someone who's web-obsessed and on-the-go! I've mastered the "knee-steering with blackberry in one hand and Starbucks in the other" technique. Don't try this at home kids!

While some people argue that with the growing popularity of the internet and social networking sites we're losing touch with reality, I agree to disagree. The internet provides people a quicker, easier, and more reliable source for information. If anything, we're more in touch with reality. As for social lives, mine is exactly how I want it: on my terms. With the advancements in technology (ie blackberry applications), managing our internet lives is only going to become simpler over time.

What do you think of the internet revolution? What great applications have you stumbled upon? How has the internet improved your life? What's your mother's maiden name? Kidding guys, kidding!

**Update** Check out this cool related article about the future of technology and mobile phone uses!

Twilight Phenomenon

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've no doubt heard about Twilight. With four bestselling books about the saga and a box-office-hit movie, how can you ignore the fame?

Being a lover of books and all things strange, I decided to "watch the stupid teeny bopper movie" and see what all the fuss is about. Robert Pattinson isn't even that hot!

Well, I watched the movie and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean, it was a little silly and mediocre at best, but alas I did enjoy it. However, you're a great filmmaker if you can leave the audience wanting more; and want more I did! I can wait until the next movie though..

I received the second book, New Moon, as a birthday gift several months prior to watching the movie. I stuffed it in my overflowing bookcase to collect dust for a rainy day.

I couldn't get Twilight out of my head though! It was like a virus eating away at me! I was at work, fulfilling some mundane task. Will Bella be turned into a vampire? I was in class taking an exam. Will Victoria kill Bella? How did the Cullens become vampires? Who? What? Where? I was a googling monster!

Somehow I ended up sick with a real, non-twilight, virus and after 2 days of dying, I wandered into my library with the intent of finding something to read. Maybe this will trick my m

ind into not barfing! And there it was. Poking out amongst Harry Potter and Confessions of a Shopaholic.. New Moon. Bingo. For drama's sake, let me add that a light suddenly shot through my roof, casting rays upon it's sleek black paperback cover. I even heard Edward whispering, "Read me, Ashley. I love YOU! not Bella! Read me!" Just kidding, but it was something like that.

Fast forward one lifeless week and I had devoured the entire Twilight series. (Thank you Walmart for being open 24hours. Without you, who knows what I would have done at 1am when I finished Eclipse!) To write that I enjoyed it, would be an understatement. I unexpectedly completely fell head-over-heels in love with this series, the characters, and the story. Twilight is the most fascinating love story I've ever read.

So readers, what are your thoughts on Twilight? Have you read the books? Seen the movie? How does Stephanie Myer compare to the great Anne Rice? Yes, I went there.

Just think.. my journey into the Twilight phenomenon began as one cynical night of boredom. You get the last laugh this time, teeny-boppers!

The whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing

So, there I was on a typical Monday evening; tired, bored, flipping through channels. The Teen Choice Awards were on. Piqued by curiosity and the awareness that Summer Monday programming apparently sucks, I continue to watch. "Oh hey! I remember this! Who are they gonna slime?!" Nope. No slime. Instead Kat Von D appears on stage wearing minimal clothing and proceeds to tattoo a Jonas Brother.. Ok. So Teens gets tattoos now? Cool. A bunch of celebrities I don't know are winning awards, kids are screaming, the Jonas Brothers play song #374636 of the night; it all seems so innocent again. Then it hits me. There are at least 3 celebrities in that audience right now that are involved in porn scandals. Ok. So Teens are being entertained by amateur porn stars? NOT cool!

1. Leighton Meester- Gossip Girl

Her night-vision (circa 2003 Paris Hilton) foot-fetish video leaked on the internet earlier this year.

2. Vanessa Hudgens- High School Musical

She's had many nude photographs leaked this year; all taken with her cell phone. Amazing what technology can do, huh kids?!

3. Ashley Greene- Twilight

As recent as this week, Ashley had some nudies leak. She has NO shame, let me tell you!

Oh, and who can forget Disney's latest cash cow, Miley Cyrus, and all of her risque pics? Teens can probably wallpaper their room with them! Right on cue.. "And now Miley Cyrus; presenting your Ultimate Choice Award to Britney Spears!" *Insert teeny boppers screaming here*

Oh Britney.. I actually like her! I was rooting for her to make a comeback along with the rest of children of the 1990's. Do I think she's a good role model for teens? Absolutely not. Do I think she's a better role model than Miley Cyrus? Absolutely! The difference between Britney and Miley is well.. Britney lied! She pretended to be wholesome and had the whole virgin school girl act down. Get with the program, Miley! Disney needs you to pay for Brit Brit's new weave!

After the commercial break, I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but this terrible screeching sound started coming from my surround sound! I thought it was really strange that it vaguely sounded like someone saying "the climb" until I realized it was Miley Cyrus "singing." Kids listen to terrible music. Ok, fine. Oh how cute a lemonade stand! Slime? Wait, that's a pole ON the lemonade stand. Miley, are you seriously grinding on a stripper pole?!

Yes. A 17-year-old. Grinding. With teeny tiny shorts on. On a pole. In front of an audience of children.

I'm in my twenties, grew up in the 1990's, Liberal Democrat, all for peace and love and the legalization of marijuana.. so this whole sex-exploitation-to-teens thing shouldn't be as shocking to me, right? I mean, I don't even have kids! Well, ladies and gentleman of the new millennium, I was shocked.

Let's do a quick recap. After watching the Teen Choice Awards, swooning over Robert Pattinson, (I was too. I mean, he glitters!) this generation's youth will:

-Want to get a tattoo and/or actually get a tattoo

-Watch Kat Von D's foul-mouthed TV show or pick up her Playboy issue

-Google their favorite celebrities only to find boobies and.. "Mom, what is THAT?!"

-Possibly decide to become a stripper "like Hannah Montana omgz!"

-Wank off in their freshly laundered sock after staring at Megan Fox's cleavage

So, people of the interwebz, what is your opinion of the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? What do you think of how the media affects today's youth? Are you a child of the 90's too? (Sweet!) If you're a parent, are you practicing selective exposure to media with your kids?